whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
