I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
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