Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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