Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
