i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize