im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
