god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
