why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
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