Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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