She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
