I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
