i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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