You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
