Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
