hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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