Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
