Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
we're making bets on your personal life
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
