He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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