Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
