You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
