I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
