Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I enjoy the company of your penis
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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