another moral hangover. fuck.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
