"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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