i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
