a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Randomize
