everyone is single if you try hard enough
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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