No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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