My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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