Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I have fence marks all over my body
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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