I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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