i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
