I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
