ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
