Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Sorry about my life...
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
