We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
