Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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