My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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