i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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