Little spoons don't ask big questions
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize