It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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