She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
