i don't like sucking hair
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
