I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
