I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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