my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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