Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
