Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
