whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize