Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
