just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
