After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
